Since we have brought the babies home (almost ten months ago), our lives have been riddled with fears of different sorts. One of my reoccuring fears has been that I will be changing a diaper of a baby, say on our bed or on the couch, and leave to go tend to something else--like grab a cord out of a baby's mouth or pick up a screaming baby, thus allowing abandoned baby to roll off the changing area and get hurt.
Well, Sunday at the Gulf, we were getting things ready to come home. Elliott had a dirty diaper, so I laid him down on the bed to change it. Once I got started, I heard H's parents in the family room talking about how Lucia had spit up, and they didn't have a rag. I had some rags right there with me. "Oh, they need a rag," I thought, "Let me go give them one." Elliott never once entered my mind. I went out to the family room and left him on the bed.
What is most upsetting to me is that I never thought about the baby on the bed. My mind got completely distracted. When I would ruminate over this fear, I always knew that this is how it would happen--that I would completely forget about said baby. And, that is indeed how it played out.
Once in the family room, I threw Papa Glenn the rag. At that point I don't remember what happened first: I remembered I had left Elliott, Holly called my name with a certain amount of panic, and Elliott hit the floor crying. Luckily the bed is low and he landed in a way that did not hurt him too bad. I cried longer than he did.
I know that mishaps are going to happen. It is just harder to deal with them when they are your fault and could have been avoided.
No comments:
Post a Comment